First of all, the roadrunner knows that as Looney Tune character, he shouldn’t be using “mirror, mirror on the wall” references which is a Disney thing, but this question does have a Looney Tune component to it, insofar as roadrunner is trying to determine which congressional wingnut is the most pro-gun of the US House delegation.
Now to be clear, roadrunner, tracing avian ancestors back to the Wild West when grandpappy Greater Roadrunner the First, was eating rattlesnakes off the Bucket o’ Blood Saloon floor, while the Hashknife gang was shooting rival cowboys in Holbrook, is not anti-gun. However, roadrunner does have concerns about members of Congress who idolize modern weaponry in a way that seems performative and just plain weird.
So, without further introduction, let’s delve into the question. Is the most awkwardly pro-gun member of the House Alabama GOP Rep Barry Moore, who wanted to make the AR-15 the “National Gun of America”? Or perhaps its anti-pistol brace and owner of multiple gun stores, Andrew Clyde (R-GA), who also passed out the AR-15 lapel pins to members of Congress? Both are worthy candidates to be sure.
However, as a denizen of the Painted Desert in Arizona, the roadrunner nominates Republican Eli Crane (AZ-2) as the member of the US House who idolizes modern firearms the most. Mr. Crane before he came to Congress made a name for himself by marketing a 50-caliber bottle opener on the show Shark Tank. He also gave insight into his future legislative acumen by proclaiming:
Most guys think that large caliber bullets are very cool."
Roadrunner opens beer bottles without resorting to that kind of firepower in case you were wondering.
Fast forward to the freshman lawmaker’s first term in Congress, and his constituents are treated to his monthly newsletter, with the clever tacitly insurrectionist title “One in the Chamber” and an image of him apparently taking aim at something [See image above].
Now the Congressman was a Navy Seal, so at one point he was carrying heavy duty weaponry in an appropriate setting, but his Newsletter titled “One in the Chamber” (i,e—“yay, we got a bullet in da House!”) which comes out every month, always follows with these sub-headings:
Locked and Loaded
Live Fire
Trigger Points
High-Caliber Rounds
Front Sight Focus
I mean it's not unusual for congressional newsletters to have “bullet points” for readability, but no other member takes the term “bullet points” so literally, and Crane’s obsession with lethal imagery devolves from bullet points into pointless bullets, in the humble opinion of a jaded desert bird who still eats rattlesnakes for breakfast in the shadows of the rubble that was once the Bucket O Blood Saloon.
Barry Moore, Andrew Clyde, and Eli Crane all are worthy of challenges from public servants who care more about human rights than gun rights, but of those Crane is the easiest to defeat as he represents a district that Trump only carried by single digits in 2020.
If you want to send a message to the gun lobby and the MAGA movement that weaponry should be used for big game hunting and self-defense, but there is no reason to excessively and relentlessly glorify guns and bullets, you can donate to Crane’s opponent.
Democrat Jonathan Nez, former President of the Navajo Nation, and candidate for Congress, who recognizes the needs of rural Arizona, but has a much wider platform than sending out constituent newsletters that incessantly remind readers how much their current Congressman loves guns (and bullets).
Now off to open a beer with a zero-caliber bottle opener I got at the corner store. Meep meep.
To support Jonathan Nez in his efforts to unseat Eli Crane, go here….
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Time to play it safe and remove one from the chamber before somebody gets hurt. Help restore gun-sanity.
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