UPDATE: Wednesday, Nov 8, 2023 · 4:13:57 AM +00:00
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jtg
Anubis is not doing well tonight.
He has barely eaten today.
He wants to hide.
I think I’ll take him to the vet tomorrow.
He had been doing better, but things seemed to have turned.
He is getting skinny. I can feel his backbone.
It could be partially due to the abscessed tooth that makes it too painful to eat.
I’m wondering if he will leave me the way he came to me, thin and bony.
I’m so worried.
#jtg
UPDATE: Tuesday, Nov 7, 2023 · 11:01:41 PM +00:00
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jtg
Anubis Endures, for now.
The current subtotal for Anubis’s medical bills is $645.
However, I’m taking him in on Thursday, 10/9/23, for another exam including a blood test, more fluids with vitamins and antibiotics.
Plus, as Anubis has a very painful abscessed tooth, I’m going to ask her to determine if Anubis can deal with having the tooth removal surgery.
Anubis is only eating almost liquid food in the form of Delectables cat treat tubes. This may be because eating solid food is painful to him. If he gets that tooth removed, he hopefully will start eating solid food again and that will prolong his life.
The Thursday exam and treatments will be about $700, which brings the new total needed to: $1355.
If Anubis can tolerate surgery, I suspect that will be $700is more. I’ll post the exact amount if the vet says Anubis can go ahead.
Thank you for your support. Anubis would now be gone without your help.
I want to thank all of you individually, and I hope to get around to that. I am still working at teaching and then rushing home to hand-feed my baby.
#jtg
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UPDATE: Sunday, Nov 5, 2023 · 8:15:02 PM +00:00
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jtg
Anubis had been doing well over the past few days. He was eating, although not enough, and he was being an obnoxious loving kitty, constantly jumping up on me and not wanting me to get up for any reason, even to pee.
Then this morning he barfed. I think that it was the smell of the wet food, Purina One, that did it. he went back into my bedroom to hide. I’ll try to feed him again.
He only eats small amounts at a time, so being away at work for about 9 hours each day he goes without food. I can’t leave food down for him as the dogs will munch it. I keep the cat food for the other three on top of the cat tree where the dogs can’t get to it (easily, although I think Zorrita can when I’m not looking). Anubis has not been able to easily get to the top of the cat tree since I brought him inside from exile, and not at all in the past few weeks.
Anubis seemed to be feeling better, but his throwing up was scary.
He still has a massive tumor, so this rebound is probably temporary. He sometimes seems like he was before the diagnosis, but sometimes he seems not to feel so good, as this morning.
#jtg
UPDATE: Thursday, Nov 2, 2023 · 6:43:40 PM +00:00
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jtg
Anubis had an unclear morning.
When I woke up, he was in the living room lying on the recliner.
He meowed loudly when he saw me. I gave him some regular dry cat food and he ate some, but not much. The abscessed tooth is still probably causing him pain. I am very angry at the vet as Anubis has been seen several times in the past year and they didn’t find that tooth problem until he was almost dead last week. If the tooth had been taken out a year ago, perhaps he might be doing better, at least eating better.
After eating some dry cat food followed by three tubes of Delectables, he walked away and went into my bedroom to hide. This has been his thing to do in the past few days. He is not eating enough and he is getting thin. I can feel his backbone clearly.
He was a bit affectionate but seemed more interested in food. He isn’t as clingy as he was a few days ago. I’m not sure how to see this. On one hand, he seems to be in much better shape than just a few days ago when he meowed pitifully if I stood up even for a couple of minutes to use the restroom. Today however he seems to be his old independent self.
I know cats hide when they are sick, and Anubis did that a lot. I was afraid he would go somewhere inaccessible to die and I’d have to move furniture to get his remains. I still have that concern, but not as much as the places he’s been going are accessible, even if a bit difficult to get to.
I should call him Lazaris. He came close to dying, with the vet recommending immediate euthanasia, and yet here is he, for now. Every time I leave him I wonder if that will be the last time I ever see him alive.
#jtg
UPDATE: Thursday, Nov 2, 2023 · 3:17:57 AM +00:00
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jtg
TLDR — Anubis has made a rebound and while he still has the tumor, for now, he is doing better.
*. * *
Anubis has made a bit of a recovery.
Last Monday, Anubis was in obvious great pain. He had lost much control over his hind legs and was crying out. I took him to the vet and he got a blood test and some fluids, antibiotics, and other drugs.
The vet was supposed to call me the next morning, but she didn’t call until the next afternoon. The vet called and said he had an abscessed tooth and it was likely causing pain. She said she wanted to see if his blood work showed he would be able to tolerate the surgery to remove that tooth.
The next day the vet called to say Anubis was in kidney failure, with a BUN blood level about 200 versus the 30ish for a healthy cat. The vet recommended immediate euthanasia last Tuesday, but since she called in the late afternoon, I put it off until the next morning.
I determined to give his last hours the best I could do for him. I hand-fed him “Delectables” treat tubes as that was the only thing he would eat, which was likely at least partially due to the tooth abscess.
Then the following day, Anubis was doing a little better so I didn’t take him to the vet. I also couldn’t bring myself to take him in. I had taken the day off to take him to the vet. I wound up taking off three days. I had previously quit teaching Saturday school to be with him after his initial cancer diagnosis.
I kept hand-feeding him, talking to him, petting him, and giving him lots of love. I got little sleep and each night I fell asleep in my recliner. I awoke several times in the night to find him lying on top of me asleep.
I let him crawl up on me himself to see how he was doing, plus he didn’t like it when I picked him up. He got better each day.
As of today, Wednesday, November 1, 2023, Anubis seems much better. He is eating solid cat food, but not a lot, perhaps due to the tooth. He will eat the Delectables tubes and I’ve been going through a lot of them. I’ve been ordering 72 tube cartoons on Amazon, and it only takes about 4-5 days to go through them. I could use help getting more and they are on my Amazon Pet Supplies list.
I am slowly daring to dream that Anubis might live for a while, weeks, perhaps months. The vet wants me to take him back for another blood test in about two weeks if he is still alive. That will add about $400 to my request.
Maybe I dare to hope he recovers enough that removing that infected tooth might be possible. It would help him eat and perhaps further extend his life, or at least give him less pain.
I am touched at the generosity of those of you who have contributed, some quite substantially.
I thank all of you, even if I haven’t been able to take each of you individually.
This has been a very stressful time for me. There are also personal issues going on in addition to Anubis that have me stressed and ragged.
If you missed it, I have several diaries about Anubis and his progress, so if you want to see the whole history, check these out.
Anubis has Cancer
Anubis Cancer Progress
Anubis Deathwatch
Anubis’s Long Goodbye
Thank you for your support.
#jtg
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UPDATE: Tuesday, Oct 31, 2023 · 2:43:05 AM +00:00
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jtg
Anubis has had a mixed day.
This morning he threw up after eating. I got him to eat a little bit before I went off to teach. When I returned, he munched down some food quickly, and then barfed again.
He went to hide for a couple of hours, and I’ve been feeding him small amounts so he does not get his tum upset again!
#jtg
UPDATE: Monday, Oct 30, 2023 · 11:05:15 PM +00:00
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jtg
My cat is still alive but still very sick. I may have to take time off on short notice when (not if) he gets sick.
* * *
I spent the last week with my sick cat Anubis. The vet had told me he was about to die and recommended euthanasia. If she had called in the morning, I might have done it, but she called late, so I waited until the next day when he seemed to be doing better. I spent days hand-feeding him and holding him in his hard times, expecting each day to be his last, but he has made what is probably a temporary recovery.
I went to teach today. When I came home Anubis was noticeably worse than yesterday.
I am going to be taking this day by day. The last day could be tomorrow or weeks from now, but it will probably happen on short notice.
I don't want him to die alone.
I am glad I was able to pamper my Anubis these past days. It will be one of my memories of him.
Thank you to all of you who have given your well wishes. I wish I had time to respond to everyone, but I have read every comment.
James
UPDATE: Sunday, Oct 29, 2023 · 11:00:11 PM +00:00
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jtg
The “it’s just a god dammed cat” was from my father. It happened in the last month of Mom’s life.
My mother’s favorite pet, at that time, was Zuki, a very large mixed cat that looked like pure Siamese. I know he was not pure Siamese as his mother did not look at all like a Siamese cat.
Zuki somehow broke one of his hind legs. The vet did an x-ray that showed his hind thigh bone looking like a chicken bone hit with a hammer with multiple fragments.
The vet gave us the option of doing surgery where she would take the bone fragments, put them back together, secure them with surgical stainless steel wire, and then he would have to be kept in a small carrier box for months until his leg healed. He could not be allowed to run around or the leg would not heal correctly, or even kill him. This would cost about $1000 in 1993 money.
The vet also said the hind leg could simply be amputated, and the vet said that cats deal well with amputated legs, and since he was still a young cat, this was a cheaper option.
There was also the euthanasia option. This is the one Dad IMMEDIATELY wanted to take.
I had to argue with Dad. First, Dad did have the money, although he had the Depression-era child view that he was always on the brink of economic disaster no matter what, and was extremely cheap. Secondly, I pointed out that Mom had only a few months left, and having her favorite pet die would not be good for her mental health.
Dad was angry.
Dad did not believe that Mom’s death was coming in the near future. Somehow he convinced himself, in spite of all evidence and statements from her oncologist, that she had years left, not months.
Dad did not think spending money on an animal was a worthy way to spend HIS money.
“All you want to do is spend MY money!”
“If you think money isn’t important you just try to live without it!”
And to the point of this essay, Dad said repeatedly:
“It’s just a god-dammed cat!”
I convinced Dad to go, very reluctantly and angrily, with the surgical option because having a one-legged cat would also freak out Mom.
Again, we had the money. $1000 was a lot fo those days, but it did not affect our financial security at all.
Zuki spent several months in a box and eventually, he healed enough to go to Mom, Zuki spent much of his time for the remainder of Mom’s life lying beside her in her bed as she declined.
#jtg
UPDATE: Sunday, Oct 29, 2023 · 9:06:33 PM +00:00
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jtg
Anubis’s demanding clingingness reminds me of my late mother in the last months as she died of lung cancer.
She had a handbell that she would ring while in bed when she wanted something, and it was ringing so often that the family got impatient with “What now?”.
She told me that she wanted to be treated like a spoiled little child in her last days.
Anubis meows if I just get up to go to the bathroom. I hate to think how he’ll be when I have to start back to teaching on Monday. I imagine him pitifully meowing as I get to put him off me and go out the front door. I have no choice as I have to earn money to live and keep the other 7 family critters fed...
#jtg
UPDATE: Sunday, Oct 29, 2023 · 7:14:03 PM +00:00
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jtg
Anubis had a good night and so far, a good day.
Last night I fell asleep in my living room chair and Anubis spent most of the night sleeping on top of me.
I fed him many tubes of Delectables treats and gave him lots of love.
Anubis has taken to MEOWing VERY loudly when he wants me to feed him, pet him, or sit in the recliner so he can climb on me. It’s the same loud meow he made a few days ago during the worst times of this crisis when he was obviously not feeling well. Now, however, while I’m sure he’s not feeling great, I think he’s learned that MEOW will cause me to come running or otherwise give him attention. Still, sometimes, the MEOW seems to be about being scared, which is understandable considering what he’s just gone through.
It’s so very tempting to think that Anubis is recovering for the long term, and to some extent, he is. But this is not permanent. He still has a massive tumor surrounding his internal organs, including his heart and aorta.
Anubis is still not eating on his own, but will only eat if I put food directly in front of him. Except for the Deletibles, he eats very little at a time. I have to guard him and his food from the other cats and the dog as they snarf it up before he can eat much. This particular crisis may be almost over, however. The vet speculated on some possible causes for this problem, the prime symptom was a BUN blood level of about 200 versus the normal 30ish.
One cause could be an infection. The vet gave him subcutaneous fluids and antibiotics. In this case, it took a couple of days for the infection to clear.
Another possible cause could have been a kidney stone that blocked him, and after it came loose, Anubis recovered.
In those cases, once he gains strength, he should be okay from THIS crisis, but having that massive tumor means the end will come eventually, just not in the next few days.
If I were Bill Gates, perhaps something could be done, but I’m barely getting by on a substitute teacher salary, and have seven other critters and myself to take care of.
Thank you to those who have been kind and commented, told your own stories, and contributed to the financial support of me and my babies. Anubis’s treatments and diagnosis have been high, and taking time off of work to care for him further has affected me. I appreciate your help and sympathies.
#jtg
TL:DR — Anubis has rallied, but he is still very sick and will die soon. His condition goes up and down hour by hour. It is a big question whether he will die naturally or require euthanasia.
Yesterday, Friday October 27, 2023, Anubis had a good day. He ate and drank a lot. He peed and pooed and walked around a bit. He kept jumping on me and cuddling and purring. However Anubis had a bad night, he seemed to be very anxious and every time I tried to go to bed, he meowed loudly, and as a result I got little sleep last night.
He is still weak as yesterday, he shook his head like he had an itch, and he almost fell over. His vet is amazed he's still alive but does not think it will be long, days, maybe weeks, before the end.
I am facing euthanasia again. I had to have my late dog Norman euthanased one night when he went into convultions as I held him. I had to drive to a 24-hour vet 30 miles away about 4 am. I wonder if Anubis will require an emergency euthanasia, or he will just get so obviously suffering that it will be the merciful thing. Best case is Anubus passes in his sleep at home.
I’ve been thinking about my late Dad in that, in a sense, I had him euthanized by approving the termination of extraordinary life support when the Doctors told me he would not recover and proved it with evidence. Anubis’s situation has dredged up those painful memories.
* * *
This morning Anubis seems to feel better, so far.
I woke up after a few hours of fitful sleep. Anubis was not in his usual spot, under my bedroom desk. I found him in my recliner in the living room. After letting the other cats and the dogs outside, I grabbed a can of tuna to feed him. He ate about half a can quickly, which was good to see as he’s not eaten much beyond “Delectibles” cat treat tubes for about a week. It seems fitting that Anubis is eating tuna as the first meals he ate after I found him curled up, as a starving near-dead kitten was tuna. Tuna being his first meal and perhaps his last is fitting.
Apophis however smelled the tuna and I had to hold him back until Anubis ate his fill.
He has developed a bad odor, but perhaps that is because he has eaten almost nothing beyond treat tubes in days. Perhaps the tuna, and regular cat food, will help him.
He is not as tolerant of my other cats or dogs. He tends to hiss at them when they get near, especially if he is on me as he doesn’t want to share.
Did I over react and jump to the the death conclusion too quickly? No, the vet told me, with the BUN number being about 200, that death was imminent and recommended euthanasia. I had every reason to believe her. If she had called me with the blood test results in the morning, I might have taken him in that afternoon. However, she called in the late afternoon, so I said I’d take Anubis in the next morning. The next morning he was doing better, so I decided to wait. I understand the vet was wondering if Anubis had died at home, and when I checked in on Friday, she was amazed Anubis was still alive. She said I should bring Anubis back in a couple of weeks, if he’s still alive, for more blood tests, and perhaps more treatments like antibiotics, fluids, vitamins, etc, as appropriate.
* * *
Some might wonder why Anubis’s impending death is affecting me so deeply. In the words of my late father, “it’s just a god-dammed cat”. Why not just immediately euthanize him and move on?
In addition, there are so many crazy things going on from TFG trying to install a dictatorship and multiple wars and shootings and more. I do pay attention to those issues and comment in those posts.
I have, for most of my life, suffered from crushing depression. My life has been an ongoing series of unfortunate occurrences, tragedies, neglect, abandonment, gaslighting. The impending loss of my beloved cat combined with other issues in my life has made my depression worse.
Anubis was there for me after Dad died, a time I consider one of the worst times in my life, when I frequently did not know if I would become homeless. In those days, I not only felt nobody really cared, there were forces actively working against me. “I don’t care if you end up in a ditch”, one said.
In those dark days post-Dad, I came close to not making the monthly bills several times. I was working at the what I now consider to be the worst job of my life, alone on the graveyard shift at AM-PM. I worked weekends, and holidays. I worried Thanksgiving and Christmas eve and day. I thought at the time that, being alone except for the two cats, they didn’t care what day it was whereas others had families to spend the holidays with, and I could use the money. Did my immediate boss recognize and reward me for being willing to step forward. No. In fact, my boss told me that I was “lucky” that she “allowed” me to work for her. I also learned, right before I got another job, that on my first day, the AM/PM owner was visiting, saw me, and ordered my immediate supervisor to fire me because “I don’t want any fat men working for me”. Fortunately, she refused in one of the few good things she did for me.
In those days, I did not use the heat because I couldn’t afford it. In those days, I often would sit in the cold living room in the night with Anubis and Apophis lying on me as I cried in fear and dispair. In many ways, I only got through that time because of my then two cats.
I’m worried those days may return, and worse.
There are few people in my personal life. Working as a Substitute Techer means that I am never in one place long enough to get to build relationships. I’ll be in one place for a day or, at most, a few weeks, and then I move on, perhaps not to return for months.
I have been working, not only the regular school week and schedule, but afterschool, Saturday School, Summer School, Spring and Winter Break School, and Professional breaks. In short, I work long hours, often six days a week for months at a time, with few breaks beyond Sundays and holidays.
My health is not great. While I’ve lost about 100 pounds in the 8 years since Dad died, I am still quite morbidly obese. I have a heart condition that MUST have surgery in the next couple of years, or die. Indeed it is already affecting my abilities. With the impending Republican cuts in Social Security Disability, I am not certain I will be able to afford the surgery when the time comes.
I’ve been thinking that I have not really been living my life for a long time. Much of my life has bee spent devoted to others, as I was Dad’s caregiver for the last 15 years of his life following his three month coma in 2000 until his ultimate passing in 2014. Now being on Deathwatch with Anubis is bring back those memories of Dad. It also reminds me that if/when I will be in medical need, I will likely not have anyone to help me the way I helped Dad.
At least I have other critters in these times.
Some have said that I should take comfort in the rest of my pack. I do, and it is their constant reminders that they are still alive and needing me that keeps me going. Still, Anubis is more than just a cat. He’s the oldest pet, and with Apophis, are the last direct links I have to Dad. When Anubis dies, and then sometime in the future, Apophis, I will have fewer connections left to Dad.
If you read all that, thank you.
I have spent over $2500 so far on Anubis’s end-of-life medicare. Plus, I’ve stopped teaching Saturday and after-school classes, and I’ve take several days off of my regular substitute teaching.
I’ve thus far raised about $1300, but I could use more help as, while it was perhaps not the most financially smart thing to do, I am reaching the end of my ability to care for him. If you can help me, it will help Anubis.
The end is coming, but it’s not here yet, and I want to make his passing as peaceful as possible. Below are some support links, and I can always us pet supplies, food, et cetera.
Thank you.
#jtg
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