The parsha of the week is Vayishlach, meaning “and he sent.” Jacob (Yakov) sent messengers bearing gifts to Esav, his brother, in several waves, to butter him up. Our sages have criticized Yakov for this, for endangering himself and his wives and children. After all, he could have returned home by going around the long way and avoided Esav and the band of 400 men that he had gathered to meet Yakov. The Orach Chaim praises Yakov for this, however, explaining that Yakov thought there was a possibility that Esav had mended his ways, and so Yakov wanted to see if he had changed.
Before they meet, Yakov wrestled with an angel (some say this was Esav’s guardian angel), and refused to let it go until he received a blessing from the angel: he was then given the name Israel, “for thou hast striven with G-d and with men, and hast prevailed.”
When the brothers met, Esav fell upon Yakov’s neck and kissed him. The nikudot or dot markings above the word “kissed” (vayishakehu) indicate that Esav’s kiss was not sincere: in fact, he may have intended to bite Yakov but G-d turned Esav’s hate to love. All those gifts must have helped too. One Midrash says Yakov’s neck turned to marble. Another that Esav’s teeth turned to marble.
This meet and greet is often cited to teach that one doesn’t rely on prayer alone for salvation in the physical world. Yakov took the defensive measures of sending gifts and also of separating his wives and children into two camps. Frontlined were the handmaidens and their children behind them. Then Leah and her children behind her. Then way in the rear, Rachel, the favorite and the only one he had intended to marry. Showing his bravery and leadership skills, their son Yosef stood in front of Rachel to protect her because he feared Esav might run off with her.
In another Midrash we read that Yakov hid his daughter Dina in a box before this meeting to save her from Esav. The sages fault him for that as well, for if Esav had married Dina, he would have done tshuva (repented of and changed his evil ways), and the messiah would have come already, they opine. As it is, we are left with the Talmudic dictum that “Esav hates Yakov.” Some associate Esav with the Roman Empire.
When initially refusing Yakov’s gifts, Esav said: “I have a lot,” (rav) before taking them. This word choice is said to show Esav’s unsatisfied character, as it is said, “He who has 100 wants 200, and he who has 1000 wants 2000.” Yakov insisted that he take it, saying “I have everything,” (kol) perhaps in the sense of “I’ve got everything I need and nothing I don’t.” Yakov was content with his lot, unlike Esav who led a group of bandits who murdered and stole property and women. It was for that reason his mother Rebecca had instructed Yakov to acquire Isaac’s blessing in the previous chapter.
Rachel dies giving birth to Benjamin and is buried in Bethlehem, not in the family plot at Hebron. In a future chapter, Yakov dies and Yosef gets permission from Pharoah to bring his body back to be buried in the Cave of Machpelah, with Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, and Isaac and Rebecca. Esav shows up at the funeral to try to prevent Yakov from being buried there, but one of Yakov’s grandsons decapitates him, such that only Esav’s head is buried with his brother and their forefathers. This grandson was deaf and did not understand what was going on but was responding to Esav’s violent and threatening. demeanor. The graveside story is according to the Book of Yasher, part of the Apocrypha but not one the rabbinically-sanctioned books of the Torah. Although the Torah does refer to a Book of Yasher in a couple of places, it is thought the apocryphal versions going by that name are likely later inventions or attempts at reconstruction of a lost ancient text.
But back to this week’s parsha, Dina got out of her box only to be abducted by a prince of Shechem. Dina’s brothers Shimon and Levi slaughtered the men of that town for her indignity, after Yakov had agreed the prince could marry Dina if he and his kinsmen were circumcised. Yakov rebuked his sons for this angry deed, but they retorted, “He should treat our sister like a harlot?” According to Midrashic legend, Dina marries Shimon and their daughter (or the daughter of Shechem ?) Osnat somehow ends up in Egypt as an adopted daughter of Potipher and his wife. Osnat marries Yosef there, giving birth to Menashe and Ephraim who represent Yosef’s double portion, the birthright taken from Reuven (the eldest), and who also make up two of the twelve tribes in the division of the land. The priestly class of Levi did not get any territory in the land division because their inheritance was only to be in the several cities of refuge and in Jerusalem where they dwelt among the territories of the other tribes. Some say this is a proof of the divine origins of the Torah, for what other ruling class would choose to disadvantage themselves in this way, depriving themselves of territory, such that they had to rely on tithes and gifts from the other tribes for their survival, as did the Levites and their subgroup the Kohanim, descendants of Aaron, a grandson of Levi.
And from the Salant Foundation:
"And Yaacov sent angels in front of him to Esau, his brother. And Yaacov bowed down to the ground seven times, until he came close to his brother. " (Bereishis 33:3-4).
Why does the first verse refer to Esau as "Esau, his brother," while the second verse simply calls him "his brother"? Yaacov knew that despite Esau's hatred for him, Esau held brotherly love for him deep in his heart for "his brother." However, Esau's love for Yaacov was covered up and consumed by "Esau's" seething anger, arrogance, and jealousy. Yaacov wisely sent many valuable gifts to Esau in order to appease his anger and animosity. Afterwards, Yaacov approached Esau, bowing down as he drew nearer and nearer. Finally, with the impact of the seventh bow the enmity of "Esau" melted away, revealing the brotherly love in his heart. Esau was moved with great emotion and affection for Yaacov "his brother." Instead, of attacking Yaacov, Esau embraced his brother, and Yaacov was safe from his brother's wrath.
Love always exists deep in the heart between family members and friends. Challenging relationships can be transformed to good, even if they seem impossible to change. Constant gestures of love, one followed by the next, have the power to reveal the true inner feelings of the heart.
Reflect on a relationship that you would like to improve. Focus on the fact that your dear ones holds love for you in his or her heart, just as you hold for them. Send them gifts, letters of affection, text messages, etc., expressing your care and fondness for them. When you meet, keep in mind your mutual love, and your feelings of affection, respect, and care.
(Based on the commentary of the Saba M'Kelm to the Torah)
|
This is our weekly open thread and check-in for the Daily Kos Jewish community. This is an open thread, safe-space for Jewish folks here, so we ask that non-Jews listen more than speak.